Behind the Curtain

Behind the curtain

I have to admit, with all the amazing things that have happened in my life in the last few months, I start to worry that people will find my posts obnoxious. I’m the kind of person who likes to share things when they happen - but when so much happens at once it can be overwhelming.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the social media world and think that’s the whole picture of someone’s life. What we don’t always post though are the things we don’t think anyone wants to hear for the fear of sounding like a whiner. These are the things behind the curtain.

For example, in my life before I got married, turned 40 and acquired a retreat property - I had started suffering chronic headaches again that got worse rather than better when the summer began. I had to go back to my day job more and now full time to make ends meet and put almost all business plans on hold.

It felt like a huge set back to me, but now I see how even though the stress is still giving me daily headaches, this is exactly what I need to work through so that I can best help the people I most want to serve.

You see, I realized that I want to help burnt out idealists like myself reset their energy and develop a self-care plan so that they can keep sharing their gifts with the world in a way that sustains them. However, when I stepped back a bit from my day job the answer for me was just work less in the “system” and more toward something that really utilized my skills. I had not, however, found a way to work within the “system” and come out of it without feeling depleted. In fact, I started this school year with a deficit instead of rebuilding my energy over the summer.

When I was asked how I dealt with extreme fatigue and burnout, I realized that although I’d managed my own fatigue quite well the year before - when a lot of stressors hit at once I was still ill prepared to find my way out of it. When “wait for summer break” has always been my answer and my summer was the most stressful time of that year, it’s time for a new approach.

Now it is still my intention to step back from my day job gradually over the next few years because I’ve come to realize that my mission lies elsewhere, but I see this spring of working full time as an opportunity to explore the best ways to take care of myself within the system.

I had planned for a lot of collaboration and connection this year, but to start 2016 I realized that I have to spend some time first turning inward and connecting more with myself. For me, this will include mindfulness training and some time exploring my creative side.

What will you do this year to connect more with yourself?

behind the curtain