Never Dull Your Shine!

There’s often a theme in my interviews with powerful women in my Embracing Intensity Podcast of women toning themselves down as they go into adulthood and then reconnecting with the power of their intensity as they came to own it.

Every now and then though, you find women that are so intense or sparkly that they couldn’t squish or dull themselves even if they tried. Leela Sinha, author of You’re Not Too Much was one of them.

This week’s guest Starr Sheppard-Decker was another.

When asked if she ever toned herself down or tuned herself out, Starr said, “I’m pretty bright and shiny no matter how hard I try to hold myself back,” my survival mechanism was more, ‘let’s pretend that this is a burden rather than a joy’” so that people would empathize instead of be jealous.

I was struck by this because while I have never done that consciously, I can think of so many brilliant people who dull their shine for one reason or another. We are often afraid to share our own gifts because we don’t want to appear arrogant or full of ourselves. This is especially true for women.

But this is an important message - Don’t dull your own shine just because it’s too bright for others!

If you do, just think of what the world is missing out on, especially the people who most need to hear your message.

Another important message that Starr shared in our interview was some advice she’d received that changed her perspective on intensity. She said, “We all are wired for different levels of intensity. People who are really really intense, like myself - if I’m not super proactive and intentional about creating intensely positive experiences for myself, I’m going to manifest and create drama so that my intensity can get played out somewhere.”

This rang true for me! I remember wondering if I was attracted to drama in relationships and pondered if I was mistaking drama for passion. Once I experienced a relationship that started with lots of passion and little drama, I realized that what I was craving was intensity in a partner, not necessarily drama. Bringing my awareness to past patterns, I was able to be more proactive about bringing positive intensity into my life.

I created the Embracing Intensity Podcast as a way to share the brilliance of intense and sensitive women and help us all learn from their experiences and insights. Now I am also developing an app called Intense Inspiration where I can share small nuggets of inspiration from these powerful women and the women in my League of Excitable Women Facebook Group. I am also starting a newsfeed of their blog posts etc. so that you can continue to follow and be inspired by these women.

It is my goal to create ongoing free and affordable content that is useful to my community. Producing a quality podcast though costs a reasonable amount of money, so I decided to create a Patreon account so that patrons can support the podcast production while I continue to develop my upcoming group program (launching early next year). Even $1 a month adds up if it gets enough supporters! Each level of donation also has different rewards. If you have any ideas of rewards you'd like to see, feel free to contact me and share your thoughts.