Do you ever feel like you're too much?

Do you ever feel like you are too much? ~ Free Find Your Superpower Course Included

Do you ever feel like you’re too much? Too emotional? Too analytical? Too intense? Too sensitive?

The truth is half the time you feel like you’ve been shot out of a cannon, you’re so wired you just can’t seem to stop, the rest of the time you crash so hard you’re not good for much of anything.

You’ve tried a bunch of approaches, but nothing seems to make a difference right away so you give up quickly.

Your loved ones may say you’re overreacting, but for you life really is that intense.

So let me ask you.

Is this you…

  • When you’re working it’s go, go, go but the second you have a break you collapse from exhaustion, feeling like a slug.
  • Meaningful connection is important but when you do finally have some time you end up canceling on your friends (you’re just too exhausted to go out).
  • You have this weird ability to focus on certain things but you can get so lost in your work that you completely lose track of your basic needs (even going to the bathroom!)
  • Sometimes you push so hard that by the weekend your body shuts down, you find yourself dizzy, light-headed (brain fog), and – without getting into too much detail… your stomach isn’t happy.
  • You feel stifled creatively, since you became a mom and/or got a “real” job, you’ve  been feeling trapped because you never have time to do the creative work you crave.
  • You’re a serial hobbyist — you collect passions and interests and cycle through them the same way that a chameleon changes color.
  • And speaking of that “real” job, you got into it because you wanted to make a difference but you notice there’s a lot of stuff about the work that feels meaningless — endless paperwork, writing useless reports and all those budget meetings.
  • You set ridiculously high standards for yourself (in fact other people are often intimidated by you) but you always seem to fall short — it just seems that everybody else is so much more “together” than you.

If you relate, you’re probably a Highly Excitable Person. You may have heard of the term Highly Sensitive Person but this is a little different.

So what do I mean by highly excitable? Highly excitable people have an increased ability to perceive and respond to their environment. In other words……

You pick up on things that other people don’t and respond more intensely than the average Joe — you might break down in tears, you might find yourself obsessively thinking and thinking about a situation, you might actually get a stomach ache, you might get so lost in worst case scenario thinking that you startle when your friend says your name… There’s a feeling of “wired but tired,” until you’re just completely exhausted. All the while you wonder why you’re the only one who seems to be responding in this way…

People often describe you as dynamic, intense, sensitive, fiery, restless, passionate or spirited.

Because you react so intensely to your world you have this unique ability to literally make yourself sick. Many Highly Excitable People suffer from things like adrenal fatigue, chronic pain, exhaustion and/or digestive problems.  You might notice yourself getting sick a lot and/or it takes you FOREVER to recover from things, especially when you’re stressed out.

Anxiety is a factor too. You react so intensely to life —  your work, dating, your kids– you get so preoccupied with worry, fear or anticipation that it keeps you up at night, keeps you from being able to focus on what you want to do and impacts the way you eat (at the exact time when you should be eating well you reach for that container of chocolate peanut butter cups).

The Good News Is…

You have super powers.

There are five types of excitability: Emotional, Sensual,  Psychomotor, Intellectual and Imaginational.

Highly Excitable People have the unique ability to (depending on your type of excitability)…

… form deep connections with other people and living things.

… read other people in a way that most people can’t.

… pick up on tiny nuances in their environment.

People often describe you as dynamic, intense, sensitive, fiery, restless, passionate or spirited. ~ Do you ever feel like you're too much?

… deeply appreciate beauty and often create beautiful, even moving, pieces of art.

… use their dynamic energy to bring people together.

… be able to think things through to create brilliant connections .

…  uncover unique angles and perspectives that solve problems and introduce new ways of thinking.

… synthesizing seemingly unrelated pieces of information in a way that creates new ideas and approaches.

… master many kinds of unrelated things at the same time.

… influence others through art or and their intellectual pursuits, understanding the big picture and each individual perspective.

The truth is anyone who has achieved anything great is probably highly excitable in one of the five areas.

Here are some Highly Excitable People throughout history:

  • Jane Goodall (Emotional)
  • Ansel Adams (Sensual)
  • Robin Williams (Psychomotor)
  • Albert Einstein (Intellectual)
  • Walt Disney (Imaginational)

So Imagine:

  • Getting home from a full day of work and having the energy to call up a friend and meet her for dinner.
  • Having some extra time to take a hot bath (with salts!) without obsessing over all the things you should be doing. To your utter shock you actually enjoy yourself in the moment!
  • Sitting down at the end of a busy day, with a cup of tea, and feeling like you got it done — you didn’t spin your wheels, you were actually able to be focused and present on what was important.
  • Looking back over the year and smiling to yourself because of all you were able to do and accomplish.
  • Sitting down with your family for dinner, looking around the room, and feeling happy, not anxious, not preoccupied, just happy.
  • Knowing how to handle the everyday stress of life — family visits, temper tantrums, employee evaluations, traffic jams — without crumpling up in a ball (or screaming back).
  • Have a routine in your life that works, so you write every day, make sure to take a walk, drink your water, etc. but know how to adapt when you need to.
  • Having a clear sense of “having something special to offer” as opposed to always wondered why you’re the one who is always so sick, wired and tired.
  • Being called a thought leader, brilliant or a genius by people you respect.
  • Being asked to write, speak or teach about what is passionate to you.

Yes it really is possible!

My mission is to help Highly Excitable people use their fire without getting burned or burned out by connecting with their unique powers, balance their energy and feel a sense of accomplishment in their life.

To help you explore your own unique gifts and how to use them, I created a free Find Your Superpower Course to help you: Identify your individual areas of excitability with an excitability checklist; Customize the name of your own unique superpower; & Explore how you can harness your own power instead of suppressing it or letting it get out of control.

Why I Wore Orange to my Wedding

I started school very young, so it should be no surprise that I was not as mature as my peers. I was a bit extra hyper and asked way too many questions for the teacher's taste. When they tried to hold me back in Kindergarten, my parents had me tested and the psychologist who worked with me said, "she's not a smaller apple, she's an orange."

Over the years orange continued to be my favorite color. It was vibrant and happy, just as I usually saw myself. As the years passed and I became a "mature adult" though, my tendency to wear orange started to fade away.

When I was divorced about seven years ago, orange slowly started to creep back into my wardrobe. I remember one time my best college friend I only saw on occasion these days said to me, "you've got your orange back!"

I continued to find myself attracted to people who saw the same flaws in me that I saw in myself. I lacked a filter, was too scattered and lacking the qualities of a responsible adult. It would make sense then that I would be drawn to "more responsible" and often therefore more critical partners.

Not that I didn't have relationships with men that weren't critical, but for me those always seemed to fall short, or lack some spark. I started to worry that it was me, not them, that was the problem.

I decided to take a year or so off of dating to "fix" myself so that I could be drawn to the right person. I worked on listening to my body, improving my health, and most importantly getting out of my head and more into my heart and gut. About half way through this process I had a thought...

What if rather than fixing myself to find love, I needed to really open my heart to heal?

Within a week of having that thought, I came in contact with my Guy. I knew pretty early on something was different this time. Not that it was all easy - he had a challenging past I couldn't help but worry would come out in some surprising way.

As I've seen it, it has come out in a beautiful spirit that lives life with great acceptance and humor. He appreciates everything he has and loves me because of my quirks rather than despite them.

When we decided to get married, I knew that orange was the only choice for my dress, and my amazing sister Laurinda, from ReCrochetions, managed to make this awesome dress in about three months. She was not sure about trying a technique she'd never done before, but I told her I had full faith in her. I was clearly not disappointed!

On Being "Too Much"

I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. ~ Theadore Isaac Rubin


It's an all too familiar story I've heard from many incredible women: An intense creative child is told that part of growing up means toning herself down. She tries to meet this expectation but still fears that she's "too much." In the process of toning down she learns to tune herself out and disconnects from her body and gut.

If this goes along long enough, she's likely to feel lost and/or develop chronic pain. She might push herself beyond her limits or just lose sight of who she truly is.

What she might not realize is that this "too muchness" she fears is the key to her greatest powers!

According to Kazimierz Dabrowski, heightened excitability, or above average reactions to stimuli, is a sign of positive developmental potential. This means that intensity is an asset when it comes to personal growth.

There are five types of excitability: intellectual, imaginative, emotional, sensory and psychomotor. Many people who have been identified as gifted experience one or more of these overexcitabilities.

After interviewing many remarkable women who have harnessed the power of their intensity in their lives and careers for my upcoming Embracing Intensity podcast, I have picked up on some common themes that have helped them reconnect with and direct their excitability.

Self Awareness - Being aware of how your excitablilities affect you and knowing that you are not alone can go a long way toward using them in a positive way. When you aren't connected with that part of yourself, you are likely to label some aspects that are not as socially acceptable as faults. This type of self-criticism is entirely unproductive. If you can be aware of how your intensity looks when well harnessed as well as how it looks when it feels out of control or suppressed, you can use your fire without getting burned.

Intuition - A common theme that came up was reconnecting with your intuition. Many of us get stuck in our head and stop listening to our heart or gut. David Richo describes the importance of connecting with your "inner trio," your head, your heart and your gut when making important decisions. If you ignore the last two, you are likely to follow a path that may leave you feeling stuck.

Vulnerability - Opening up and being yourself is the only way that you can really connect with the people who can most relate to you. If you protect yourself from vulnerability, you may have success on the outside, but on the inside something feels "off." You may "fit in" but to truly belong, it's crucial to have at least one person you can be vulnerable with.

Self-Care - Finally, finding time for self-care was crucial for most highly excitable women to ground themselves and decompress. For many, this involved getting out in nature. For others exercise, meditation and yoga were daily practices. Whatever you need to do to recharge your batteries, be sure to do it before they are completely dead.

So, if you've been spending your time toning yourself down or tuning yourself out, take some time to reconnect with the power of your own intensity. You may find that your greatest excesses are, in fact, your greatest assets!

25 Things Only a Highly Excitable Person Would Understand

25 Things Only a Highly Excitable Person Would Understand

If you are Highly Excitable, you pick up on things that other people don’t and respond more intensely than the average Joe.  Many Highly Excitables are also Highly Sensitive. The key difference is the presence of one or more of five overexcitabilities: Emotional, Sensual, Psychomotor, Intellectual and Imaginational. You might be just one, or have the adventure of being all five!Here are some signs you might be Highly Excitable:

  1. You have just enough OCD to keep your ADD in check. Because you notice things other people don't, you can be very particular about things, but you are also highly distracted by your environment.
  2. You get a sense of elation from getting to the bottom of your laundry pile! You can get super excited about the little things in life.
  3. When that certain song comes up, you can't help but dance or sing to it wherever you are. When you feel like dancing, you're gonna dance and when you feel like singing, you're gonna sing!
  4. Only one or two people get your jokes.  But that's what makes them so funny!
  5. You feel like everyone is more together than you.  When you see what others are doing that you aren't, you get that feeling that you should be doing THAT too.
  6. You find it hard to live up to your own standards. Being told not to compare yourself to others doesn't help, because you know what YOU should be capable of doing.
  7. You feel like you have 100 tabs open in the browser of your mind. Your mind is going a mile a minute and there's so much going on at one time.
  8. Sometimes you just want to go climb up a tree. Being an adult is such a drag sometimes.
  9. When you are into someone you are REALLY INTO them, but you're afraid you will scare them off. You just need to find someone equally intense (but not high drama).
  10. It might take you an hour and a half to pick out a lamp. You have a finely tuned aesthetic sense that no one but you gets.
  11. You must be a princess because you can definitely feel that pea!. Things others don't notice annoy the pants off of you and things that annoy others are downright painful.
  12. You can get so focused on that new project, you forgot to pee. While it is often hard to concentrate with so much on your mind, when you get excited about a project, you hyperfocus.
  13. Last week you were an avid fish collector, and this week you are all about ham radio. You have so many interests you can't possibly do them all at once, so you cycle through them with great enthusiasm.
  14. It's not enough to just make something cool, you need to make something revolutionary. You are not satisfied with "good enough," you want to do something that's never been done before.
  15. You're kind of like my broken car fan, you're either on full blast or not on at all. Moderation is not your strong suit.
  16. You have to be careful not to pick up other people's accents lest they inadvertently think you are making fun of them. You are so good at picking up other people's social cues, you sometimes start to reflect them back.
  17. You think of the exact right thing to say when it is no longer relevant. You can be quick on your feet, but sometimes you keep thinking about what you could have said that was better.
  18. Part of that conversation you were having happened in your head, so you might have to catch the other person up.  Sometimes your mind is ahead of the conversation you're having so you start in the middle of what you were thinking.
  19. You can remember Monty Python sketches or song lyrics word for word after hearing them once, but you can't remember what you put on your grocery list earlier that day. If you don't find it meaningful or fun, you probably won't remember it.
  20. You have a class clown/teenage boy sense of humor, but a sophisticated intellect.  You appreciate the finer things in life, but you also have an appreciation for the absurd.
  21. You can solve perplexing puzzles, yet this is the third time you've had to run the washer because you keep forgetting about the wet clothes inside.  You rise to a challenge, but struggle with the mundane.
  22. No matter how much you like the person you just met, or how long you spoke to them, you will still forget their name by the time they stop talking. In fact the more emotional you feel about them the less likely you are to recall their name!
  23. You force yourself to pay attention when people make small talk, but as soon as they talk about something personal or meaningful, you hang on their every word. It's all about connection.  Anything less just isn't worth your time.
  24. You compile a list of things of things you'd like to accomplish, then go play instead, and then beat yourself up for being "lazy" for not getting anything done. This makes your play time not nearly as much fun!
  25. You worry that choosing pictures of people dancing for your excitability blog post will make others think that all excitable people like to dance.  You spend a lot of time over-analyzing what people will read into your choices when in fact they are likely more worried about what you think of them.

Being Highly Excitable has it's challenges, but it can also be the root of a lot of great powers! Depending on the type of excitability, it can bring excellent problem solving abilities, supremely innovative thinking, deep emotional connection, keen sensory perception and/or dynamic energy.

If you ever feel like you are “too much” (too analytical, too spacey, too emotional, too sensitive, too hyper), remember that you excesses might just be your greatest assets!

Now it's you're turn!  Write in the comments how you know if YOU are Highly Excitable!

Excitability can be a superpower when harnessed. Sign up for my Find Your Superpower course to find your excitability superpower. 

You feel like you have 100 tabs open in the browser of your mind. ~ 25 Things Only a Highly Excitable Person Would Understand
You must be a princess because you can definitely feel that pea! ~ 25 Things Only a Highly Excitable Person Would Understand
You're kind of like my broken car fan, you're either on full blast or not at all. ~ 25 Things Only a Highly Excitable Person Would Understand