I started school very young, so it should be no surprise that I was not as mature as my peers. I was a bit extra hyper and asked way too many questions for the teacher's taste. When they tried to hold me back in Kindergarten, my parents had me tested and the psychologist who worked with me said, "she's not a smaller apple, she's an orange."
Over the years orange continued to be my favorite color. It was vibrant and happy, just as I usually saw myself. As the years passed and I became a "mature adult" though, my tendency to wear orange started to fade away.
When I was divorced about seven years ago, orange slowly started to creep back into my wardrobe. I remember one time my best college friend I only saw on occasion these days said to me, "you've got your orange back!"
I continued to find myself attracted to people who saw the same flaws in me that I saw in myself. I lacked a filter, was too scattered and lacking the qualities of a responsible adult. It would make sense then that I would be drawn to "more responsible" and often therefore more critical partners.
Not that I didn't have relationships with men that weren't critical, but for me those always seemed to fall short, or lack some spark. I started to worry that it was me, not them, that was the problem.
I decided to take a year or so off of dating to "fix" myself so that I could be drawn to the right person. I worked on listening to my body, improving my health, and most importantly getting out of my head and more into my heart and gut. About half way through this process I had a thought...
What if rather than fixing myself to find love, I needed to really open my heart to heal?
Within a week of having that thought, I came in contact with my Guy. I knew pretty early on something was different this time. Not that it was all easy - he had a challenging past I couldn't help but worry would come out in some surprising way.
As I've seen it, it has come out in a beautiful spirit that lives life with great acceptance and humor. He appreciates everything he has and loves me because of my quirks rather than despite them.
When we decided to get married, I knew that orange was the only choice for my dress, and my amazing sister Laurinda, from ReCrochetions, managed to make this awesome dress in about three months. She was not sure about trying a technique she'd never done before, but I told her I had full faith in her. I was clearly not disappointed!